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Stress Alive - January 2007

Many of the clients I see have their faces plastered on the computer screen under the Megans' Law protocols. With their face and address is also the descriptor of the crime: Lewd and lascivious behavior with a 14y/o or younger. There are benefits, as well as 'downside', to this form of public exposure.

One fellow I have seen for over a year has proclaimed from the start that he did not do it. He did not use 'authority-based coercion' to have his way with that 13 year old daughter of his neighbor. The system does not believe such proclamations. Nor do I.

Typically.

This fellows' story has remained consistent from the start. I recall back during the intake that it was a well spun tale, and had an air of credibility to it. Yet, criminals are good at that. And sex offending criminals? To hell and back with him!


Being caught up in the Megans' Law movement, he has had people recognize him and toss slurs and epitaphs in his direction. Physical harm has thus far eluded him. He has had to move from his home as it is too close to an elementary school. And, he has to seek permission from his probation officer if he is to visit his young nieces or nephews.

He has recently shared, in group therapy, that there are new developments. Certain people are willing now to make statements that will exonerate him. His hopes are high, and he expects that his life wil change for the better within several months.

I, with my therapist poker face, smile and let him know that I too will wait patiently for whatever it is that unfolds. At this point, my gut says he is likely innocent. His story has been consistent to a tee throughout our time together. It shall be interesting.

Yet, will his life ever be the same?


Given the heinous nature of sexual crimes, and crimes perpetrated upon children, is it best to err in the name of obtaining a conviction even if in the end the conviction was wrong? How many others may be wrongly accused yet suffer the shame and punishment of something for which the collective needs a scapegoat?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN WRONGFULLY ACCUSED?


deorre
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Peace Of Mind: What Will You Pay?

January 25th 2007 22:33
If you have peace of mind, what are you paying for it? If you do not have peace of mind, what will you pay for it? The answer, while may be financial, need not be. Or, in many cases, it is a combination of financial and other.

I suppose most people take peace of mind for granted, thusly do not mindfully give it value. You know, values. Those things that are inherently important to us. Valuable.

It may take a real calamity--financial, medical, occupational, legal, marital, or otherwise--to lead us back to what is important and valuable to us. In the end, I surmise, peace of mind is at the core.

How do you think of peace of mind? Must you do all your hard work and toil prior to having it? If so, then you may be trivializing the importance of peace of mind. Do you 'need' to have peace of mind before you can function effectively in the world? If so, I think I share that ideal. Although, one may need to be able to tolerate and experience a bit of the stress of life as a function of, well, being alive.

I do prescribe to each and all of you that you must be able to return to a state of peace after skirmishing with the dragons and ogres out there in the real world. If you do not have that place to refresh, regenerate, and rejuvenate, then determine what you will do and pay to have it.

What will you do for Peace of Mind?


deorre
73
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Breathe, Dammit!!

January 22nd 2007 17:35
I know, I know. We all breathe. And we really don't have to think about it. It's a part of our autonomic nervous system, so it's keyed in to our default operations.

The fight or flight arousal system is also keyed into our default operating system, as a way to effectively manage crises and other stresses of life. And the fight or flight mechanism is directly related to the way we breathe.

If you have the opportunity, observe the way an infant breathes. This infant shall become your role model, your breathing coach if you will. Slow, rythmic, and deep breaths. Until a crisis of the bowels or hunger occur. Then the alarm system kicks in. Breathing becomes quick, shallow, and is typically accompanied by shrieks, movements, and other individual nuances.

Again, all a part of the default design.

Now, what about adults? All mature, and cognitive, and able to mentally abstract. With all that that entails. We breathe, yes?

If you take the time to observe any number of adults breathing, what you will discover is that they are doing so as if they were in crisis. Relatively shallow and quick breaths. The kind of breath that is well suited for crisis, yet not suited for long term oxygenating of the blood, balance, and a relaxed and mindful state of being.

Somehow, it seems, adults have become enculturated into a world and mindset of alarm, fear, anger, and crisis. It may be related to making mountains out of molehills, and is definitely connected to the marvelous cognitive capacity to abstract out of concrete thinking.

We no longer fear the saber-toothed tiger, perilously perched to bring danger into our lives. Some would say that war and terrorism may be apt counterparts, and they may be accurate. Yet, even without these, we breathe as if in crisis because we sustain percieved danger in our minds much longer than any danger truly exists. Again, mountains out of molehills.

This is taxing on a mind-body system designed to manage crises in a quick and efficient manner. The long-term pulsing of stress toxins and chemicals through our bodies becomes an erosion, rendering us weaker in the face of danger, percieved or real.

And the breathing remains shallow.

Pay attention to your breathing. It may be the easiest way to determine if you are involved in sustaining stress alarm beyond what is an appropriate amount of time to sustain such.


And How Are You Breathing Today?



deorre
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Is Stress Management Sexier Than Porno?

January 19th 2007 03:40
For years I have tried to hock my wares. What I sell is wellness, thriving, basic stress management, and a host of other related issues. It's my passion, and I love making the issue alive for indidviduals and groups. It seems a laudable cause, yes?

I must, though, conclude at this point in time that I cannot compete with the pornography industry. People seem to flock to things related to sex. Perhaps even as a form of stress mamagement


[ Click here to read more ]
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Integrity

January 15th 2007 14:50
Integrity is a great way to effectively manage stress. When one is clear as to identity, and feels good about that identity, then actions, thoughts, and words will come freely and in alignment with who one is. No needed efforts at disguising or creating façade.


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When The Water Stops

January 13th 2007 23:50
I love the river of life. So full. So full of things that evoke life in me. Awe, fascination, excitement, empathy, sadness, love, mystery, confusion, anger, connection, and so much more that feeds.

This food seems limitless. Of infinity. So ample, in fact, that it seems odd and somewhat queer that while I bask in the abundance I also experience scarcity in one aspect or another


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M-O-N-E-Y

January 11th 2007 01:56
Is money the root of all evil? Or, the source of all stress? How much of yourself do you give up so that you may enjoy the tangible benefits of the mighty money exchange? You know, the good life.

Abundance comes in many forms, and money is clearly one of those. When basic needs are a month to month, week to week, or day to day struggle, then money takes on a huge importance. Survival, after all, is primal


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How Much Can One Person Take?!?!?!

January 8th 2007 17:54
Where does your stress come from?

Politics? Finances? Family? Job? Internal biochemistry? Lack of identity? Social standing? Legal issues? Medical calamity? Psycho-social erosion? Lack of understanding? Existential relevance? Disconnect from nature? Religion? Religious persecution? A dirty house? The price of gasoline? Time? Space


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Dead Man Hanging

January 3rd 2007 23:16
Many have seen the actual footage of Saddam Hussein being noosed up and then dropping to his dangling death. Quite intense, this.

This post is not about whether or not it was the right or wrong thing to do. Nor is it about what the liberals or conservataives have to say about it. I choose to come at it from a stress management perspective


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