You'll Be A Man Someday
October 24th 2006 13:09
Often parents seem at a loss as to how to prepare an adolescent for becoming an adult in the world. So many lessons to be learned, so much likely frustration and disappointement to be had. Yet, this is the stuff that leads to emotional maturity.
Today, I offer a letter I wrote to my son when he was 14 y/o, as an example of one way to communicate important messages. Though he does not fully understand everything in it, I have suggested that he take a look at it from time to time, and to please ask me for further explanation if he feels so inclined.
Dear Son--
I love you. And because of that, I want to help you make your life better than mine. That's what parents do. As well as pass on whatever material possession that may suit your fancy, I have learned some things that I would like to share. Things that I hope you can understand so that you do not make the same mistakes that I have made.
Son, please value your relationships. With friends, family, and the special girl who will become your life partner. There was a time when I took such people for granted, and I hurt people who did not deserve such. In the end, this hurt can come back to haunt you.
Please do not be dishonest in your dealings with people. It will only alienate you from them, and lead you into lonliness. Remember that honesty and open self disclosure are the lubricants that will keep a significant relationship flowing and working in a mutually satisfying manner. Too many secrets will create a distance that will ultimately be the demise of your special involvements with others.
Remember, son, to always keep your humor about you. I know that they say that life is very serious. And, trust me, you will have plenty of time to be serious. Never forget to laugh, smile, and see through darkness into the playground of mirth and folly.
Please do not spend all of your money the second it hits your hand. If you do this, you will always find yourself working for more. Working for your money. Might I suggest that you invest 10% of any money you recieve, from this point on. If you do so, you will find your money working for you rather than the other way around.
Please son, always invest your energy and focus to the full extent. Be, as they say, all that you can be. To go half-assed into activities will only get you half-assed results. And you, if you are like me, will find this quite unsatisfactory.
Find your passion, develop it, and wear it like a badge of honor. This will be your mark. This will be who you are, what you have to offer, and what leads to deep satisfaction and meaning.
Remember, son, that what you do today is what leads you into tomorrow. If you identify your purpose, then what you attend to today is more likely to be in alignment with your valued intent. You will have created and be on your path.
Always remember, son, that you are unique and good. You may have to make occasional adjustments and modifications to your way, yet your core is easily good enough. You do not need to justify who you are. Ever.
Son, I love you.
deorre
Today, I offer a letter I wrote to my son when he was 14 y/o, as an example of one way to communicate important messages. Though he does not fully understand everything in it, I have suggested that he take a look at it from time to time, and to please ask me for further explanation if he feels so inclined.
Dear Son--
Son, please value your relationships. With friends, family, and the special girl who will become your life partner. There was a time when I took such people for granted, and I hurt people who did not deserve such. In the end, this hurt can come back to haunt you.
Please do not be dishonest in your dealings with people. It will only alienate you from them, and lead you into lonliness. Remember that honesty and open self disclosure are the lubricants that will keep a significant relationship flowing and working in a mutually satisfying manner. Too many secrets will create a distance that will ultimately be the demise of your special involvements with others.
Remember, son, to always keep your humor about you. I know that they say that life is very serious. And, trust me, you will have plenty of time to be serious. Never forget to laugh, smile, and see through darkness into the playground of mirth and folly.
Please do not spend all of your money the second it hits your hand. If you do this, you will always find yourself working for more. Working for your money. Might I suggest that you invest 10% of any money you recieve, from this point on. If you do so, you will find your money working for you rather than the other way around.
Please son, always invest your energy and focus to the full extent. Be, as they say, all that you can be. To go half-assed into activities will only get you half-assed results. And you, if you are like me, will find this quite unsatisfactory.
Find your passion, develop it, and wear it like a badge of honor. This will be your mark. This will be who you are, what you have to offer, and what leads to deep satisfaction and meaning.
Remember, son, that what you do today is what leads you into tomorrow. If you identify your purpose, then what you attend to today is more likely to be in alignment with your valued intent. You will have created and be on your path.
Always remember, son, that you are unique and good. You may have to make occasional adjustments and modifications to your way, yet your core is easily good enough. You do not need to justify who you are. Ever.
Son, I love you.
deorre
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