Aaaagghhh!!! Expectations!!!
October 25th 2006 12:17
Are you hard on yourself and others? Expecting the most that can possibly be expected? Approaching a self or other mutilation if expectations are unmet?
Success and Motivational speakers always tell you to set your standards high. To elevate your expectations and then become a walking/talking self fulfilling prophecy.
Yes! Go! I am with you! (That's a coaching, motivational, support thing).
Some in the field are starting to toot the horn of lowering your expectations. Rather than setting yourself up for failure by having too high expectations, set yourself up for pleasant surprise by having seriously low expectations and standards.
Anathema, you say?!? Perhaps.
The assumption is that standards and expectations that are too high will lead more to frustration and feeling bad about oneself than to success and benign self fulfilling prophecy. So, rather than project myself into getting an 'A' on that math test, I will decide that a 'C' is much more do-able. And safer, perhaps.
So, I get a 'B'. And I am happy. Unless I let that possiblility of the 'A' nag in the back of the head. And possibly become so toxic that the 'success' of the 'B' is dissipated.
The answer to this question is purely personal. Do you dare stretch beyond what you see as your comfort zone? And if so, for what? Or do you set your target sigificantly lower than grand ideals, and in all liklihood exceed your expectations? Will that feel like success to you?
Clearly, how success is defined plays into this. This is why it becomes extremely important that an individual become deeply honest with his- or herself. The laying out of expectations based on the definition of success will only have a meaningful value if it is all based on a genuine interest in working in identified directions.
More on weaving valued intent into daily activity to come.
deorre
Success and Motivational speakers always tell you to set your standards high. To elevate your expectations and then become a walking/talking self fulfilling prophecy.
Yes! Go! I am with you! (That's a coaching, motivational, support thing).
Some in the field are starting to toot the horn of lowering your expectations. Rather than setting yourself up for failure by having too high expectations, set yourself up for pleasant surprise by having seriously low expectations and standards.
Anathema, you say?!? Perhaps.
The assumption is that standards and expectations that are too high will lead more to frustration and feeling bad about oneself than to success and benign self fulfilling prophecy. So, rather than project myself into getting an 'A' on that math test, I will decide that a 'C' is much more do-able. And safer, perhaps.
So, I get a 'B'. And I am happy. Unless I let that possiblility of the 'A' nag in the back of the head. And possibly become so toxic that the 'success' of the 'B' is dissipated.
The answer to this question is purely personal. Do you dare stretch beyond what you see as your comfort zone? And if so, for what? Or do you set your target sigificantly lower than grand ideals, and in all liklihood exceed your expectations? Will that feel like success to you?
Clearly, how success is defined plays into this. This is why it becomes extremely important that an individual become deeply honest with his- or herself. The laying out of expectations based on the definition of success will only have a meaningful value if it is all based on a genuine interest in working in identified directions.
More on weaving valued intent into daily activity to come.
deorre
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Comment by charles
ZCars
Ponderous
Charles.
Comment by Deorre
Stress Alive
Man Lessons
The other side are the ones who are perpetually outside of comfort zones such that they have little enjoyment or relaxation.
As usual, balance is key.
Thanks for commenting.
Comment by Sophie Bell
I like what you write. I tend to have a similar philosophy.
I feel that the Western world is obsessed with the notion of achievement - the notion of winners/losers. The recent movie 'Little Miss Sunshine' gives you a lot to think about in this regard.
cheers
sophie
bell
Comment by Deorre
Stress Alive
Man Lessons