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What About Love?

March 17th 2007 13:40
I've seen it so many times. Someone in the process of a divorce cannot imagine how they will ever find love again. Or the individual who has been single for-seemingly-ever is increasingly frustrated and stressed because there seems to be no relationship in sight. "Am I just not capable of love?" Such a question is understandable, though ultimately problematic.

When one person's identity is based on being with another person, then it is likely that the first person is not bringing all that he/she can be in the relationship. And, thusly, the other person is not getting the complete package.


One must be extremely "ok" with oneself prior to entering a deep or significant relationship. In fact, it's probably not possible to enter a deep relationship if you haven't at first entered a deep relationship with yourself. Who you are is the most precious thing you have to offer to another, not to mention what you have to offer all others.

In this spirit, let me propose that there is a river of love that runs through each of us, and that the more one is mindfully engaged with this river--in it's calm AND turbulent waters--the more one is likely to find the "love of their life." How else will you attract who values who you are than to be yourself?

The first thing is embracing the river that runs thorugh you. The next thing may be embracing and sharing that love with another.


deorre
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4 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Stanley

March 18th 2007 12:14
as an aside do you think monogamy is a flawed notion for humans? because at the base of it all we're animals even with this pretense of civilisation.

Comment by Deorre

March 18th 2007 12:43
Now there's a dicey question, Stanley. Monogamy does appear in other animals out there, though I think there is a clear proclivity in our species to spread the seed far and wide, and as often as possible. For the perpetuation of the species, you know.

Somehow, due to our capacity to think abstractly, we apply "love" to this process.

Comment by Stanley

March 30th 2007 21:52
ah i had to re-read this post after my relationship of 2 years ended in tears last night. the hurt is still very raw and it is hard to have clarity in times like this. my world revolved around this person and i actually changed cities to be with this girl.

now, my life looks a lot more lonelier in sydney without this person to plan weekends and days around.

Comment by Deorre

March 31st 2007 12:36
A time of turbulent waters, Stanley. I urge you to focus on this water metaphor, and at some point the waters will still.

Sorry for your loss.

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