Natural Selection Among Sex Offenders
May 3rd 2007 16:20
After meeting with a group of sex offenders last night, I was struck by a very common experience typically reported. This becomes one of those for better or for worse scenarios. Sex, a subject which is nearly always a hot-button trigger point, evokes reactivity. And when the sex involves illegal acts perpetrated on unwilling, unwitting, or too-young-to-consent partners, then said reactivity goes off the chart.
Understandable, that.
These 'perps' that I work have become so entwined in a shame-based legal milieu that impacts nearly all of their lives, that many of them no longer look at or think of sexual activity in a way that involves any pleasure at all. Even with a willing, age-appropriate partner, the internal dialogue often consists of questions as to whether or not that person will falsely report a rape or something similarly untoward.
Now, these guys may or may not have ever had normal sexuality, but it is clear that they probably will not now. Is it karma? Maybe.
It certainly reduces the liklihood that they will have babies.
Interesting, that.
deorre
Understandable, that.
These 'perps' that I work have become so entwined in a shame-based legal milieu that impacts nearly all of their lives, that many of them no longer look at or think of sexual activity in a way that involves any pleasure at all. Even with a willing, age-appropriate partner, the internal dialogue often consists of questions as to whether or not that person will falsely report a rape or something similarly untoward.
Now, these guys may or may not have ever had normal sexuality, but it is clear that they probably will not now. Is it karma? Maybe.
It certainly reduces the liklihood that they will have babies.
Interesting, that.
deorre
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Comment by charliesgirl_992000
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Comment by Deorre
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If it's not too much bother, I'd like to read about more of your experiences in this field. You sure picked a tough row to hoe.
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Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
from a psychological standpoint your theory probably has alot of validity...
But having been a victim myself when I was a child, I have tried over the years to also see it from both sides of the coin...From my perspective thus far however, I still have not found any reason to justify there being anything "natural", about the slection of a child or underaged partner by any type of sexual predator for any reason...
There has to be something inherently wrong or warped to begin with, for anyone to have desire to, or even think about entering into any type of sexual act with a child or underage person...
Seriously, what does a child (sexually, emotionally and especially physically) even have to offer an adult as a sexual turn on?
I simply can't understand it...but then again I don't claim to be a shrink, just another victim...
I'm happy to know that you are trying to rehabilitate these types of offenders...cause after all, they're human beings who obviously need a lot of help...
But on the other hand, how many offenders have had normal, healthy relationships with willing, age appropriate partners (such as wives and steady girlfriends), BEFORE they abused, and even had their own biological children living with them under the same roof whom they never even thought of abusing...?
*shakes head*
That was the case with both of my abusers...normal looking fatherly types in stable family situations with children of their own living at home with them, who never fell prey to their father's twisted, dangerous and perverse sexual desires...
I think, well personally, it isn't always a legal battle in the minds of abusers when they decide to take that first wobbly steps into pediaphelia...
It's a highly manipulative, utterly selfish act on their parts...If they cared about the children involved at all, or even stopped to consider the ramifications of breaking the law in the first place, they wouldn't even consider committing the act at all...
Now please correct me if I'm wrong here, and I might be a tad biased on the subject because of my prior childhood experiences, but why should we, as a society, even care about whether or not these offenders will go on to have normal sex lives after completing a course of proper treatment, or whether or not they will be capable of, or even be allowed to go on to father any children of their own?
You especially, being in the particularly sensitive area of work that you're in, should be the first person to consider the fact that each of these men made conscious choices to do what they did...
No one twisted their arms, nor forced them at gunpoint to commit these acts of pediaphelia in the first place...they just took it upon themselves to make those choices voluntarily...
And you know as well as I do, that if a man or woman chooses a child to have sex with over an adult for their first sexual encounter, there's gotta be a screw loose in each of them somewhere...
Although I appauld you for your efforts in trying to help these men and view them as human beings with problems and not just chattel, it still begs the question "why" they made that conscious choice at all...? Saying that they, "just couldn't help themselves", doesn't wash in my world...
I was raised in a strict Catholic, 'you must feel shame for everything, even breathing ' type of environment, where just "thinking" about anything even remotely sexual meant an automatic, non-stop, one way express ticket to Hell, no questions asked, but never once, when I reached the age of sexual awareness, did I even give thought to, or feel the desire to engage in any kind of sexual activity with a child or underaged parnter...
My mind simply didn't work that way and never has...
So, having taken up enough of your blogspace in a never ending, mindless rant, I'll wrap this up by once again saying that I admire your area of work, it takes nerves of steel and the patience of Job to do it...
But we shouldn't concern ourselves too awfully much with individuals who cannot seem to control their deviant, sexuallly sociolpathic tendancies...
Many thanks for allowing me to vent Deorre, and air my rather strong opinions on this topic!
Great post btw,
Take care,
Nick
Comment by KylieW
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Tough one huh? I must say, that while I too feel disgust at the idea of anyone forcing sex on anybody against their will, that I can see how you would feel a bit 'sad' for these perps.
It's not an easy profession you've chosen!
Kylie
Comment by Lilla
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As always I can see all sides to this one!
The point on Karma is interesting .. and profoundly 'sane' of the universe to render them such... although I don't know if there is any scientific fact to substantiate that it would run in the genes?
Whilst I also think that just rehabilitating just one offender, to want to seek out 'proper' sex with approriate aged partner a real achievement, Nick's point is also very clearly taken too, why bother?
The immediate question would be : Wouldn't the time and energy be better spent on rehabilitating the victims to live happier lives?
But the truth is, I guess, that both need help and I also feel that you are a very special person to attempt to try the side you have chosen, because understanding of their minds could be a great help in finding a medicinal cure too.
I admire your efforts because (as a staunch believer in reincarnation myself), I can clearly see the benefits for future generations if perpetrators are 'cured' (enlightened) in this lifetime, to remorse ... *chuckle* the irony being that it removes the need for Karma itself to teach the lesson - *lol* a challenge, perhaps, for a Buddhist Master to answer?
Great Post, great work Deorre.
Lilla ...
Comment by Deorre
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No excuse, though.
As far as the natural selection notion, I just point out that since many are no longer all that interested in sex because of all the toxicity and shit that now comes wit it, they will by definition be somewhat selected out of the gene pool.
Often what I try to do with these perps is to help them see and feel the pain THEY experience as a step one toward truly understanding the pain they have caused in others. Sadly, some don't seem capable of such.
Comment by Damo
Personally I am not sure how why people end being a sex criminal. Yet it seems that getting caught and going through the public humiliation does cause some kind of reality check.
Correct me if I am wrong.
It seems to be that they are worried what people think of them more than what they think of themselves.
Comment by Deorre
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And, I don't have a problem with that. I just find it all sooo fascinating. Perhaps, in a macabre sort of way.
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It's all quite ugly.