Stop! No! Never! Can't!
October 14th 2006 18:05
How often these words are spoken. To children, friends, partners, colleagues, students, employees, and more. "Get real", one may say to another, "there is no way that you will be able to do that."
Uh, thanks for the, er...affirmation and vote of confidence.
So powerful such words and assertions can become. And so limiting. How do you feel when somebody speaks to you this way? Do you recall having some plans or great intentions that you shared with another, only to find that other full of negativity and essentially saying that you are crazy or a fool for even considering your notion?
I know what I feel following such a statement. I feel discounted, trivialized, and possibly even ridiculed and mocked. As if I am wrong, errant, and need to reconsider how it is I will make my mark. The amount of energy I would have been dedicating to my proclaimed intent is now somewhat diminished by the energy utilized by dealing with the negativity.
And then it takes even more energy preventing myself from joining in and becoming extremely negative myself! I will not call the person an f'ing a-hole. I will not go all 'postal' on this fool who thinks he knows what is best for me.
And on and on.
Imagine what a child or other such innocently naive individual does with the negative statements proclaiming stop, can't, don't, and never. They may not even question these words that come from identified 'authority figures'. They may simply internalize the message of disempowerment, and move on. Just a bit more like a following sheep.
In my world of therapy I am charged with being grounded in reality and delivering the message of reality to my clients. Does this give me permission to dash any sense of hope that a client may carry in regards to performing the seemingly impossible? Am I doing my job if I squash any energy that may come from the feared and loathed 'magical thinking' that can only represent a distance from the conensus reality that logic has come to value and hold in such esteem?
Perhaps I am in the wrong field.
What do you do in the face of ongoing negativity?
deorre
Uh, thanks for the, er...affirmation and vote of confidence.
So powerful such words and assertions can become. And so limiting. How do you feel when somebody speaks to you this way? Do you recall having some plans or great intentions that you shared with another, only to find that other full of negativity and essentially saying that you are crazy or a fool for even considering your notion?
I know what I feel following such a statement. I feel discounted, trivialized, and possibly even ridiculed and mocked. As if I am wrong, errant, and need to reconsider how it is I will make my mark. The amount of energy I would have been dedicating to my proclaimed intent is now somewhat diminished by the energy utilized by dealing with the negativity.
And then it takes even more energy preventing myself from joining in and becoming extremely negative myself! I will not call the person an f'ing a-hole. I will not go all 'postal' on this fool who thinks he knows what is best for me.
And on and on.
Imagine what a child or other such innocently naive individual does with the negative statements proclaiming stop, can't, don't, and never. They may not even question these words that come from identified 'authority figures'. They may simply internalize the message of disempowerment, and move on. Just a bit more like a following sheep.
In my world of therapy I am charged with being grounded in reality and delivering the message of reality to my clients. Does this give me permission to dash any sense of hope that a client may carry in regards to performing the seemingly impossible? Am I doing my job if I squash any energy that may come from the feared and loathed 'magical thinking' that can only represent a distance from the conensus reality that logic has come to value and hold in such esteem?
Perhaps I am in the wrong field.
What do you do in the face of ongoing negativity?
deorre
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Comment by Julia
The Migraineur
Unscientific Quiz of the Day
The Migraineur
I bought some great t-shirts on sale - they fit really well (I have an odd body shape and getting clothes to fit is a nightmare.) I went online to see what their new range was going to look like for next season. Unfortunately, they didn't have their range on their website, but they DID have a feedback form. So I sent them a message saying how great I thought their products were.
I hope I made someone's day.
And that FELT GOOD.
Comment by Deorre
Stress Alive
Man Lessons
Thanks for reading!